witch

Bleeding in lockdown – what the **** is going on?!

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After just a couple of weeks of lockdown in Scotland I began to get direct messages, emails, texts and calls from women all around the world. A trickle which soon became a deluge. They were all worried and fascinated women who’s cycles were up the swanny. Missing, late, heavier, more painful, less painful, lighter, more frequent and just different to how they always are. My mind started ticking.

 

I put out a general shout for women’s experiences and this is what I found.

 

Despite evidence to the contrary women living together were pulling their cycles together. “Syncing”. I wonder about that evidence because there is seemingly no doubt that women living together bleeding together is a common occurrence. Aside from all the women in the house falling into pre-menstrual energy together mothers particularly seem really heart warmed they are bleeding with their daughters. 

 

There has been some extreme PMS. This is no surprise while we are under such stress, drinking more alcohol, eating more sugar and moving less. Alcohol particularly makes it hard for the body to process its soothing chemical mechanisms. I’m all for women doing whatever it takes to get through this time but wigging out monthly for a week probably isn’t doing us any good. We could make whatever effort we have available that week to go easy, nourish, invest, bath, hydrate, magnesium up, retreat, whatever it takes. An older sister of mine once told me “it’s okay to give your children cake for breakfast from time to time” – I turned that into a whole mothering philosophy. Pretty sure I didn’t ever give them cake for breakfast but I knew I could! A week off from the sourdough, structured play, home-schooling, kombucha making, artisan life path will do everyone the world of good! I’m reminded of the blog I once read clearly shouting it’s no good shouting self-love at a woman that needs community and family love – reach out and support your women with a text, a call, a package, a story, a song, a meal. A little effort may go a long way.

 

A few have noticed a decrease in their PMS symptoms. Feeling they have more room to honour feelings, rest and retreat when necessary.

 

Others feel their Circadian rhythm is completely off-kilter. Lots of time indoors, late nights, and too much blue light from screens is giving our bodies a different message to what’s really happening in our day.

 

Much more intense bleeding. Some feeling it’s the super moons we have experienced pulling on their internal tides. All those things that affect your PMS affect your bleed too. One woman told me she notices she seems to let go of all she has stored with her bleed. Women of the world are collectively grieving with their wombs. Clearing the way. Shedding. Healing.

 

Much lighter bleeding. For sure we are right in the middle of a major threat to life. We don’t say it out loud while we soldier forward blitz spirit style but it’s there running in the background slowing down our speed. Some feel they haven’t ovulated over this time. The body that is super stressed can make a calculation not to conceive. Maybe this is how the bleed ought to be for this woman when she’s not running around, back and forth, doing the work of about twenty as we do.

 

Some are having two cycles a month. Sometimes the super stressed body makes a different calculation to conceive! We see birth rates going up not down under challenges like these. The brain can tell us to make love not war. Prioritise what’s really important. 

 

A “period app” has reported this morning that around half of all women using their app are affected. That’s a huge number. I’m ever interested. Please send me your thoughts and experiences. The question to ask is do we need a solution? I think we will all have slightly different ideas about what that looks like so I’m not going to provide you with a ten-step 30 day blog style plan but we can list below some useful things to try if you feel led to.

 

  • Hydrate
  • Rest more 
  • Check magnesium intake and maybe bathe, and oil and up your dietary intake of magnesium rich foods
  • Don’t forget your woman’s health herbalist, aromatherapist, homeopath, traditional midwife, asian medicine doctor and general herb witches will all have remedies that can ease difficulties. Western medicine has very little unfortunately. We need another post about how it’s mainly centred around the health of white men!
  • Look for your womb specialists in particular – Arvigo and Mizan practitioners can really help you if you are suffering. They can show you old ways of steaming and massage that you can continue yourself.
  • Put some of your blood in the earth. Pretty much all indigenous people understand this as grounding for you and healing for the planet. Western women see blood as dirty. We need to get through that and out the other side. It’s not helpful.
  • On that note finding some rituals that honour this incredible process can really help you integrate how you are feeling. We can also hook you up with amazing women doing this work.
  • Retreat. In any way you can even for a few moments especially from that screen
  • Get out in the natural light and put your bare feet on the ground as much as you can (not when it’s cold though!)
  • Little less alcohol
  • Little more good food going in
  • Take a walk
  • Take a holiday from your “standards”
  • Connect with women and talk about what’s happening for you. It really helped me to hear I wasn’t alone in this.
  • If it’s really getting to you reach out for a therapist – so many are online now. We have three exceptional women we recommend at Red Tent. Reach out for a recommendation.
  • Get my sister from another mister Maisie Hill’s incredible book Period Power so you can really understand not just what’s going on but how to harness the seasons of your cycle.

 

Our wombs speak to us. They weep. Go on strike. They direct. They lead us. Talk to her. Journal with her. Gift her rose oil and wrapping. Listen.

 

Find out more about me here and what’s on offer over this time here.

 

should a wise woman earn enough money? witches, midwives and healers

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should a wise woman earn money? witches, midwives and healers

“money is undeveloped”….”money is bullshit”…..”i don’t care about money” – all real life quotes from women i have met who are trying to change the world through healing and birth. these same women also have a repeat cycle of money-relative stress when enough isn’t coming through their doors, into their inbox or their account to make ends meet. something needs to change.

maisie really breaks it down so well in her post about charges here http://www.maisiehill.com/what-do-doulas-charge/

i’ve been thinking about this a lot recently – mulling it over in my mind. we are reclaiming old ways without the structure of how to live in those old ways. its comparable to our grabbing on to attachment parenting and learning as we go – we quote south american tribal peoples and then don’t actually really live like them with the community and family structure to support it and for some it can become incredibly stressful and perhaps impossible to maintain. likewise most of us are no longer in the structure of old where we can step outside and pick our own apples, draw our own water, find our own medicine and invent our own iphone – everything costs money and we need that money to survive and most importantly maintain ourselves and perhaps others in order to continue with our good works and be able to give our services to others. we should not be working at the supermarket to feed our families when we could be doing much more valuable work for the world to put that food on the table instead.

who are these people i’m talking about? i like susen weeds definition “those who have the skill, the personal power and the courage to midwife the changes – large and small, from birth to death and in between – in the lives of those around them” …this is a huge job and whoever is filling that role should not have to worry about cash flow – it is very important and valuable work which deserves abundance.

with this central community role came power, risk and freedom. the witch would always know the intimate ins and outs of her people – she knows of terminations, bad habits, sexual diseases, love affairs, losses and much more – here in lay her power and led to her risk.  many would suggest that the witch burning and slut shaming of women throughout the world and throughout history has its roots in destroying this power. this is not over – we still have witch killing in tanzania , kenya, uganda, ghana, south america, india and in europe not so long ago the witches of romania came together to curse the government for bringing in legislation that taxed their earnings.  all of this brought freedom from their independent income as healers and midwives – you find countless tales of unmarried mothers and all sorts of other predicaments that haven’t been met well in human history.  these people were not afraid to receive payment for their specialities, knowledge, instinct and wisdom and they were also not afraid to love you for free as well – we need this balance.

we mustn’t be afraid to be compensated for the risk we incur every day and rewarded for our valuable skills. we owe it to the women who lost their lives in the past to continue and prosper. know you are in good company and let them inspire you to become independent and live the life you truly want to.

this autumn wysewomen have the honour and pleasure of hosting the incredible giuditta tornetta from LA – she will be joining us for the weekend in edinburgh facilitating a healing the money session which will be looking at your relationship with money and supporting you to find your own ways of healing it so you can be abundant and keep giving your love to the world. if you are looking and thinking to yourself you can’t afford it then this workshop is perfect for you! you can find out more about it by clicking on the link below where you will also find details on how to book. on the saturday evening it will be halloween or as we like to call it in edinburgh samhain and we will also gather together to watch the samhain parade on the royal mile followed by remembering and honouring all the wise women before us especially those that met death due to their work.

http://www.healingthemoney.com

have a look at the amazing samhain parade – you are welcome to join us at the evenings events  if you don’t take the workshop

are spanish doulas really the walking dead?

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its going off in spain – reminiscent of the burning of millions of women during the witch trials of the middle ages.  today sees a report about the strange goings on of the witches being released by one of the governing bodies of the spanish midwives – this report has been collated over the last three years and has been put together by a multi-disciplinary group of experts composed of nurses and legal specialists in health and criminal law (this is what google translate tells me anyway!).  the witches in question aren’t really witches of course but supportive women at the heart of the community encouraging families to make their own decisions around birth and loving them throughout those decisions regardless of what they are. doulas work – the evidence is clear – read more about it here.

fair enough i say to collate a report about a new body of women that are becoming prominent working amongst the new families of your country.  we like to take care of our mothers and babies surely – so we look into something so big and so powerful sweeping our nation.  however, the results of the report are astonishing to say the least!

the piece of journalism breaking the news is sensationalist media at its worst and clearly cherry-picking the most shocking findings of the report but they are included none the less and i want to address them because i am certain this isn’t how i go about being a doula and i’m pretty certain this can be said of most of the doulas in spain – i spent a heavenly week in a large circle of mainly spanish birthkeepers this last autumn whilst co-facilitating loving the mother (read more about these workshops here) and they were an incredible bunch of women working very hard to bring health and peace and joy to women birthing their babies and becoming new mothers in whatever way the mother herself sees fit.

the three main claims are extraordinary and i want to say a little about each one.

the report claims that doulas divide the family by shutting the father out of the process.  in twenty years almost every single family i have worked with has involved a close relationship with the father as well as the mother as we ALL work together to facilitate gentle birth and try our hardest to generate as much love as we possibly can.  doulas are reassuring for men and can support them through the process – at a birth women are often birthing incredibly well with no assistance or support and its common for them to ask to be protected and accompanied but left.  this can be a very unusual and some times impotent feeling for a man – the doula is there to support him through this and be a reassuring and often times practically useful presence. i once read a birth story written by a dad i worked with – it included a section about him bursting into tears when i offered to make him a cup of tea as i was the first person all day that had shown him any care during the very emotionally trying experience of supporting his wife birthing their first child.  not once have i come between a woman and her man – the only time a mother and father agreed that he wouldn’t be at the birth (previous birth trauma for them both meant they felt most comfortable with this arrangement and they had made this decision themselves before they met me) i took a gamble and asked her (as baby was imminent) if this still worked for them – she changed her mind and i popped my head out of the bedroom door to ask him the same question.  he came in to witness his second son born gently and powerfully by his gorgeous wife – the healing of this experience was incredible.  we love fathers and we encourage them to love and support their partners. read more about dads and doulas here.

the second claim is that we use the term “obstetric violence” to encourage families away from medical assistance when they birth their babies.  there’s no doubt that their are birthkeepers in all their forms that may have witnessed trauma at their own births or those women who’s births they’ve supported at. this trauma leads to an intimate understanding of the impact that this trauma has on the world. how the woman is impacted and begins her mothering as a survivor rather than a victorious woman.  what it does for a man to see his sexual partner and lover brutalised.  what impact does this have on the baby? their potential as a contributing adult to this world?  what this means is almost all the doulas i have met are pro-choice – proactively encouraging families to think through all their choices very carefully.  working through the options until they settle on the ones most likely to bring about the end goal they are after.  this may be a heavily medical birth or the other end of the spectrum at home alone in the dark but we all agree that women must choose as it is the woman who lives with the consequences of her choices for the rest of her life.  who loves this woman’s body and baby more than this family? who cares more about the outcomes? occasionally we are supporting someone’s choice to not take up medical or obstetric care – its their choice to make. don’t believe that birth can be traumatic or are affected by these issues – talk to these people here.

finally and my particular favourite is the suggestion that doulas belong to a cannibal sect.  now i’m a big fan of walking dead but i’ve not taken that any further! its incredible that this is included in a serious manner in what ought to be a very serious report.  sure i’ve met a few doulas that have eaten their placentas but i’ve met many more mothers who had no doula who’ve chosen to do this for many reasons. read all about your placenta and possibly consuming it here.  i’ve met even more mammals who’ve done it.  truth be told among the families i’ve supported this is quite rare.  i don’t encourage or discourage – my job is to ensure women know their options and exercise their choice.  many will bury their placentas which is the most common human behaviour around the world.  most common is to leave the health services to dispose of it.  sadly and i’m sure disappointing more than a few folk who read this report we do not meet at the full moon around a fire on top of a hill and eat human flesh.  that makes for a great story though doesn’t it?

after initially being so amazed, then angry and now just dumbfounded i leave you with the wise words of ibu robin lim placenta lover extraordinaire (read more about her here) lets all deal with this with love – it is the Mothers way and the only way.

“I am holding a Loving space for ALL BirthKeepers to work together with Care, Love and Respect… that is the Mother’s way.”

things you can do to make a change here

you can sign a petition against this report here

you can purchase an awesome book all about doulas – who they are, what their history is and what they do – you can buy it here

you can share this article so that the world will know doulas are full of love and not placentas 🙂 

 
nicola mahdiyyah goodall is a revert muslim who grew up with hip hop based in edinburgh, scotland and london, england. she works with women trying and mainly succeeding to build circles of knowledge and community primarily with birth.

she is also the director of wysewomen publishing and facilitates wysewomen workshops and red tent doula courses.

welcoming back the light as a birthkeeper – setting your intentions

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light

i sat down at my table last night as the dark came upon us in scotland in the mid-afternoon during the shortest day of the year – i closed my curtains and lit some candles and put pen to paper.  the candles shone brightly and warmed my heart with the love that was contained in the ones that were gifted from birthkeepers i helped along their path this year and the ones that were for lighting at birth and the baby came before the candle burnt out.  this is witchcraft 😉

i sank back into the restful, womb-full darkness and welcomed back the light into my world and my heart. verily out of the darkness comes light!

every so often at an auspicious time i set my intentions and assess what needs to be discarded.  this year i’ve been drawn to the camino de santiago and i’ve been fascinated with the pilgrims shedding their physical load as they let go of their spiritual baggage along the path. this is an essential blood letting and pruning to let new growth flourish, walk forward and let the magic come in.  my intentions were set for my whole life picture but i got to thinking about my work here as a birthkeeper.  its central to all that goes on in my world and needed extra thought and love and most of all tuning in.  its served me well to go through this process over the years and i wanted to share so it may be useful to those coming after me.

wysewomen are running a red tent in london in a couple of weeks at the start of the year and we made the intention it should have the theme of clarity as this is what we realise is crucial to sewing the seeds for the next year.  we are all great list writers and planners but we will often write generic titles such as “get fit” on these lists with no real step to be taken – clarity brings intention to fruition.

so what do you need to be clear about this year? i like to break it down into doable chunks.  what are your long-term goals? where are you going on your path as a birthkeeper? where do you see yourself in ten years? most importantly once you set these how do you get there? this year i’ve been blessed to come across the japanese term kaizen (read more about it here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaizen) loosely i’ve understood it to mean constant improvements in small steps to achieve greatness. i’ve been encouraging those i’m around in my workshops to identify what great things they want to achieve (healing the earth with gentle birth anyone?) and see what that first small step is towards that goal.

be clear about your intentions for this coming year. this year are you focusing on serving your local community? the women of the world? do you want to teach and grow the next generation? are you tired? do you need to be restful this year? would you like to improve health outcomes amongst your people? build the family? how much money would you like to make this year? do you want to stay broke like many birthkeepers? does this keep you holy? would you like to be able to meet your rent this year without struggle? would you like to earn so much that you finally put that deposit down on your own home? would you like to be fully abundant? where are your yearly markers? what do you really want?

i believe to really find the answers to those questions you need to think about what you need to let go of  what is serving you? what is growing you? what is nourishing you? what is serving the greater good and growing love in your community, nourishing the world.  how do all these things impact you and your family? to grow and blossom we need balance alongside adventure and a good intention.  if something is no longer serving you but you feel its a service to others you want to provide to the world/women/God you may choose to keep it.  if its damaging you you may need to think twice.  birthkeepers are renowned for running themselves into the ground – all of my heroines in this world keep black circles under the eyes and a generally worn down look which is entirely overshadowed by the beauty of the Godly service they do for the world. none the less it is there.

so what are you saying yes to this year? what are you saying no to? write it down, draw it, sing it out, shout it to the world and bring it to you. let me here about your plans 🙂

nicola mahdiyyah goodall is a revert muslim who grew up with hip hop based in edinburgh, scotland and london, england. she works with women trying and mainly succeeding to build circles of knowledge and community primarily with birth. she is also the director of wysewomen publishing and facilitates wysewomen workshops and red tent doula courses.