“I’m really sorry Mars” is a phrase I hear a lot when I appear at the door of clients with newborns. No, they haven’t just sworn at me, dropped my red wine, slammed the door on my finger. They tend to be apologising because they are still in their nightwear. I wish I knew why they felt it necessary. It may well be because we’ve all been told, at some stage or other, ‘You’ve just had a baby’, ‘It’s not as if you’re ill or something’, ‘No need to let yourself go’ etc etc
It seems like there are so many classes and occasions to get to once the baby is born. The reunions, the family gatherings, the coffee dates – and that’s justMonday morning. Look, I don’t mind that women want to do those things. I just feel sad that so many feel that they have to, even when they want to just rest up a while. [I fully understand that for some women this is what they want to do. This isn’t about judgement, this is about my wish for new mums. What works for one, may not work for another.]
“Nothing to apologise for”, I say as I walk through the door, “It’ll make it easier for you to pop back into bed. Shall I put the kettle on?”
I love the cultures that put mum and baby to bed for 40 days. Oh, can you imagine how heavenly it would be to get to the 6 week mark (typical growth spurt week for baby and height of tiredness for mum) and not to feel completely exhausted?
This is the time to learn your baby and have your baby learn you. It doesn’t come again. Not these early days where your baby changes so so much. Your body has worked hard. It grew a baby!!!! You birthed a baby. Babymooning isn’t weak. It’s strong. It takes something to buck the trend and do what we doulas love to do at birth. Nothing! Just being and letting it all unfold. Me? I’ll be in the kitchen sorting some food to nourish you and I’ll leave happy knowing that you’re all fed, watered and rested.
Want me to help you postnatally? There’s nothing I love more than making lunch and supper with the baby [in the style of Jerry Maguire – show me the sling!] and supporting baby’s feeding.
this post was written by the glorious Mars Lord – read more about her here – she really is THE most fabulous doula
this blog is part of the #postnatalrevolution in honour of sheila kitzinger passing on to the light.
wysewomen workshops hold a very popular motherwarming workshop at different locations all around the country – themotherwarming workshop looks at different ways to keep mum, baby and family healthy in the immediate postnatal period – find local dates near you here
wysewomen are also involved in loving the mother – a week long journey for women to develop love for the mother.